just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
