I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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