This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
