Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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