good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
