chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
