he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
