How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
