I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
