Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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