I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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