That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
