Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
