You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
