you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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