Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
