I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
