That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
