You don't have asthma, your pregnant
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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