with your own penis?
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
