my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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