And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Who died my cat blue again?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
