I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
