Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
