You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
