you guys were way drunker than both of me
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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