i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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