Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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