It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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