After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
