You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
