Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
