then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
