question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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