good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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