also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
