Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
