I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
