yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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