i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
