Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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