Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
