he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
