You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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