it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Randomize
