Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
