btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
