NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
