I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
