I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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