I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
